"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
