Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
