i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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