I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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