so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
