so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
