Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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