The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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