are you still at the devil's house?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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