How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
