I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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