FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Randomize
