Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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