My hair reeks of homosexuality.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
