There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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