Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
