this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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