I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
