i permit you to call me
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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