this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
