yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
