I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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