porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
ok first of all what the fuck
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
