he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Randomize
