I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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