i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
