3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
She's the barista slut.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
The uberlube is also flammable
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
