Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
wrigley field is MILF paradise
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
