I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Randomize
