The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
