I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
