What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
