you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I need water and some morals
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
