i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
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