I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
That was an excessively violent trivia night
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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