He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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