OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
