Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
