i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
