this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
