according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
