I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
