ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
