I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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