i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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