are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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