Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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