Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
