I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
