Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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