i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
