Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
