Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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