i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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