And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
